Sensitivities

By Nico Cost for GlobalSouth.co

We tend to lump many things together and then think we understand each other. Communication is the main barrier between people. Not speaking each other’s language, literally and figuratively, means doubting the connection.

How can you explain to yourself a dream that has come to you in loose strangely knotted fragments? If that is already difficult, how will you explain your world to another? You are the only one who can see through your eyes.

Small miscommunications already create the greatest conflicts. Relativizing is a big challenge for many people. Accepting that the other person has a different opinion is not easy for many. We have many untold expectations.

How many friends do you have? No, don’t add those acquaintances, but how many real friends do you really have. What are real friends, for you? For me, real friends are people who make the effort to really get to know me and let me be myself.

Friends accept who I am. Friends encourage me to be even more myself. Friends can be critically constructive and don’t shy away from difficult questions. Friends are respectful of who I am. They expect nothing in return.

Friendship is a one-way street. A true friend does not expect friendship in return. There is no relationship either. Relationships don’t exist. We are here alone. Everyone else mirrors us, just as happens in our dreams. Is it possible to be alone?

When two people are each other’s friends, it is a spiritual bond materialized on Earth. True mutual friendships are the beginning of heaven on Earth. There is no expectation, merely seeing each other in love.

Love is also such a big concept to which all kinds of things are pasted. I have written about love here, so please read that (again). When you say, “I Am”, you are Love. Love is Conscious Being. Love is Consciously Seeing the other.

When I discuss the above with people, a different kind of conversation than “normal” ensues. How do relationships not exist? It is not about what is true, but about waking up. Waking up from one’s own train of thought.

For those who really want to understand me. Or rather, who wants to understand what I am trying to say. Are we really in dialogue and in search of truth. Whatever that truth may be and regardless of whether we share the same truth after the conversation. Are we having fun in our conversation?

Are you taking time for me? As a friend, do you have time and energy for me? Do you really want to get to know me and thus be my friend? The special thing is that you do this for yourself. Because we always do everything for ourselves. Purely for ourselves. We are alone.

Don’t kid yourself that you are doing something for someone else. You yourself are the biggest stakeholder in what you do. Even the parent who cares for the child does it from a sense of duty, because it is the way it should be. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is true.

I think this brings us to the topic of “Sensitivities”. We are triggered by things and a certain number of them are sensitive. But what is that “feeling”? This word “feel” is used all over the place.

I think it is good to make a distinction. We have instincts, our bodies react uncontrollably to situations. Fear is a big driver in this. Our reptilian brain directs our body to react instinctively to fire, for example.

Then we have emotions, our thinking compares what we experience with what we find. If it falls along, we are happy. Does it disappoint, then we are sad. Or angry. Or melancholic. Unfortunately, many people are not in control of their emotions.

Many allow themselves to live too much by their emotions. Melancholy turns into depression. Anger into hatred. Happiness into addiction. I am not saying emotions should be eliminated, but they only have a role in our (evolution of) awareness.

Finally, we have feeling, which is the line to the unseen world. You can feel the truth far before your thinking gets to it. You feel if that job is right for you. You feel that someone is going to call you. You feel uneasy with that one person.

So feeling is very different from emotions or instincts. Even though these three things are related and in life you cannot necessarily experience them separately. Everything is intertwined, but it is good to put things in perspective.

To learn to feel better and better is to begin to harness our human potential. Knowing that emotions are (can be) a choice is important to not let them get to you. Relativizing and accepting are qualities we need in friendships.

In the fog, we are still alone. Now is the time to become consciously yourself. Later, when the fog lifts, we will see each other. Will you know yourself then and will you show yourself to others? When I look at you, do I see a friend?

Do you want me to be your friend?