Ways to deal with stress

By Nico Cost for GlobalSouth.co

There are books full of them, but let me just keep it practical. We all experience stress to some degree in our lives. We cause it ourselves and it is caused by what happens to us. Our own stress is partly conscious and partly unconscious. What happens to us is beyond our control. Hardly anyone wants to be stressed, so there is little we can do to prevent stress. What remains is “how” we can deal with problems and stress. This actually applies to many things, because “what” happens to us can hardly be controlled, but “how” we deal with that “what” can.

We take two main routes, the active and the passive route. Thereby we have a personal preference, the route we usually -unconsciously- choose. While it would be more effective, depending on the situation, to choose the route that fits best.

Active: working harder

When there is a lot on our plate, many tend to work harder. We work longer hours and take less rest. When the work is fun, you can keep it up for a long time. But when the work is not fun and the conditions get tougher, the prolonged stress leads to burnout.

Sometimes nothing can be done and you have to work a little harder. But this cannot be a structural solution, so at some point you will have to stand still and look for the causes to start addressing them. You will get better and better at recognizing this pattern, but you will also have to act on it.

Passive: Doing nothing about it

When you don’t look at it, it doesn’t exist. Ostrich politics. You just occupy yourself with other things that distract you. Putting off things that actually need to be done. Hoping that postponement becomes cancellation. Hoping the problem will go away by itself. Pretending to yourself that it won’t be too bad and that things will work out.

Many problems indeed do solve themselves, but in this case of experiencing stress, you are suffering from the subconscious that realizes that something is wrong. It’s nice if you have a positive attitude, but some things need to be addressed structurally if you don’t want to keep falling into the same traps your whole life.

Seeking help

A good method is to seek help. Much work can be divided, but that does not make the cause disappear. It is good to talk to others, especially professionals, about the stress. To look for the causes and look for structural solutions. How do you usually handle things and what else can you do?

The important thing is to grow in awareness, so that you become better and better at recognizing your own patterns, learn to vary in dealing with problems and will experience less and less stress. We are often lived by our environment, but our lives revolve around ourselves and our growth in awareness. Life is about You.

Emotions

Uncontrolled emotions are often a marker in recognizing stress. When you are angry more often than usual, you know something is going on. The same goes for sadness, fear and anxiety. In these, our body tells us at least as much as our thinking. Stress works out negatively in our bodies and our weaknesses give the signals we may pick up.

All the more reason to (learn to) meditate. Our subconscious knows what is good for us and what suits us. There is no standard method that applies to everyone, but you have access to your personal description. You find it in meditation, which is how it has been for thousands of centuries. You find all solutions through the way of meditation.

Relativize

Finally, a consideration to be able to realize: Everything is Relative. Everything is relative when you don’t make things personal and look at things from the bigger picture. A lot of stress comes from attachment to things that are not yours or for you. Our life path is all about awareness and detachment. We live, but struggle to surrender to that life.

We flounder in the current and try to cling frenetically to the shore. How about the thought that a hundred years from now no one will be concerned with you and your problem? If you can take that distance, life will become so much simpler. Fears will disappear, up to and including death. Not that you should do nothing, but not necessarily anything either.

Man may realize that life takes place simultaneously on two levels. Namely, in the form and in the formless, in the physical world and in the spiritual world. We humans tend to attach ourselves completely to that physical world. We get in the middle of it and make everything personal. But we are also spirit, and you can argue that real life takes place precisely in Self-Awareness.

Are you concerned with what is happening outside of you or are you consciously concerned with what makes you YOU? Who are you and what are you doing here on Earth? Surely that is the path that matters to your soul. Put “the hassle” into perspective and learn to deal with it by being mostly Yourself and Conscious. The hassle is a lesson, nothing more. Love yourself, you deserve that.